your parents love me but you hate me
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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