I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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