He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
