yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Can I color on your dick again?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My feet surprised me
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