We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize