i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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