So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
