Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
What drink are we having for lunch?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
