you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
