pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize