Define "chronic" masturbator.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize