Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
