Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
