I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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