Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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