No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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