You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
