Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
