OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
