why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
