you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
