His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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