After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
