Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think my vagina is haunted
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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