eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
