I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
