It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
