so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Never underestimate the power of titties
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
