You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
