2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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