You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
