I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
