my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize