Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
