I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Found your dick twin last night
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
