halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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