Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
