"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
