my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize