in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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