the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
