Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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