Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
