office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
