Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
