just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
