Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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