we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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