I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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