I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
and you said cock pushups were impossible
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
