I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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