Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just high enough for therapy.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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