3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
