I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
