Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
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