Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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