Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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