once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
