Have you finally orgasmed yet?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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