well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
